Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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