The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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