Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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