If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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