my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Then you guys just all showered together...?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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