Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
