Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
