I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
