Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize