I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
