I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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