The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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