awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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