i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
