I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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