smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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