Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I love you.
Bad choice
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
