i just made my gag reflex go away.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
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OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
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HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
jump out the window naked night went bad
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