i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
