You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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