Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
