she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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