She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
