I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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