omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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