margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
