I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm jealous of your bromance
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
