you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
