Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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