Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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