ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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