Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
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On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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