Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
