It's a beautiful day for a hangover
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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