There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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