I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Randomize
