All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize