I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
