i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
