i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
