Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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