i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
