Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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