I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
