whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
