Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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