Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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