She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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