I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
two words...techno handjob
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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