no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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