she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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