Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
