guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
