And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
