ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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