Your mouth is God's brothel.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
