Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
