i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
