White coat. Heels.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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