omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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