yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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