Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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