my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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